Friday writer's block
It's Friday! Past 5pm and I'm supposed to have churned out a lesson for a site that we're running by day end. I'm suffering from writer's block though...a really bad one because my thoughts have drifted all over the place from an mysterious itch on my arm to my imagined hunger, uncompleted tasks, the lousy movie I watched last night (hint: about a Dragon Flyer) and the works... Blah! It's floating everywhere but the actual task on hand. :(
So I've decided to take 5 minutes to blog something and get all the random stuff out of my system before I focus on my writing. So here's something random... one of my favorite photos taken on a recent trip to China (which my 5 min post will not do justice to)
I'm not sure why but looking at this photo evokes a myriad of emotions for me. Maybe it's the childlike innocence of the old man on the tractor. The fact that he's one of the last ones still living in the village and all the young ones have left for the city. And I'm not sure if I'll still see him the next time I visit the village. The old tractor cart that runs on a generator, which one can easily outwalk if he/she wanted to. The roasted pig that looks slightly ridiculous with red paper wrapped around its ears and tail.
Ahh...home.
Back blogging
I've finally had a chance to relax and do some reflecting...I've been meaning to write more everytime I stick a photo up in a new post but never get round to doing it. Just this evening, I checked my blog and realized I had 3 drafts sitting in my account...my lousy half baked attempts at keeping people updated on my life. :(
So here goes (I hope I last long enough to make this a good post).
Social LifeI've only 5 weeks (35 days!) left in Malaysia...and with a mental clock ticking in my head...suddenly, I've realized that there's a whole lot of things that I want to do in Malaysia and I've so little time left. For a moment, I was paralyzed. I didn't know what to do first and how to do everything without over-doing it. So I sat down and created a small list.
1. Catch a Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra Performance
2. Sepang F1 Circuit Race
3. Host a dinner for the trainees
4. Take my remaining golf lessons - I have 3 left.
5. Visit Sungei Wang to suss out local designers.
6. Check out Zouk KL (a franchised club originally in Singapore)
7. Meet up with Founder of Genesis Initiative in KL
8. Attend Project Bazooka's Thursday gigs at Laundry Bar
For starters, I've gotten the first 3 on the list taken care of. At least I know which weekends I'll do them. The others are just floating out there...especially my golf lessons. I'm usually too tired at night to cook dinner for myself, much less head to the driving range to whack golf balls. Oh well, has to be done though...I blew a lot of money on those lessons. That said, I'm really excited about the Orchestra Performance and the F1 circuit race! I hope to get some photos up. Am sorely tempted to get myself a Ferrari t-shirt! Crossing fingers!
WorkThings are really picking up at MindValley. The project we've taken up recently has gained so much momentum in just 2 weeks! It's exhausting though. I don't think we realized that the project would completely takeover our time at MindValley, and I do feel for Caroline (AIESEC trainee) who is working her hardest to handle the flood of customer requests.
I've been doing more writing than I ever imagined. It's actually getting easier now since I've gotten familiar with the eCommerce stuff at MindValley. Plus I've always enjoyed writing anyway. So I've started transitioning my work to 2 trainees (Katalina who just joined the team and Nika from Poland). I wasn't going to do documentation because I've come to realize that all those things don't really get read if the new person taking over doesn't get it.
My other task right now is to get more people into MindValley since we really need smart people on board to take on our projects. I love the variety but I won't lie...life in MindValley moves fast and you could get overwhelmed if you don't keep up. Was just telling a colleague today to take an active role in managing his projects not let the deadlines dictate what he's going to do or he'll get swamped one day.
My Next StepsI love writing because it helps me to think. And my mind has been on an over-drive in the last few weeks thinking about the future. I know what I wish to achieve in my life but sometimes, the path is not as straight as I hoped it would be. I know I want to be involved in CSR or the social sector. I know I want to work with companies and nonprofits to bridge the communication gap. I know that I thrive on working with people and building relationships. And I would love to embark on another adventure in a place where I've never been before.
It's scary though. Everyone knows that change is always happening but when you do it at a level which takes you out of your comfort zone...there's always a voice saying "turn back! don't take the painful path!" And yet, the uncomfortable path is the one I seek, because I love to push myself to the breaking point, go beyond my comfort zone and then let myself react. I can't quite put it but the lessons and things I've learnt about myself and human nature...nothing short of AMAZING.
Perhaps it's an insatiable appetite to challenge myself to be a better person. Or self discovery, it's the kind of "high" I seek.
So why am I saying all this? Well, I've been seriously considering an opportunity in the Middle East. It's an AIESEC Expansion team in Bahrain, Qatar or Oman. Will I get it? I don't know...I'm sure that there are many very strong candidates who will apply. I have to say though, the entire application process (and I'm only half way through it) has already opened my eyes in many ways.
Before this I didn't know much about the Gulf, save the media reports about the ongoing conflict. And well, from my childhood memory of the Gulf war when Kuwait was under Iraqi attack (was it over oil?). I had no sense of the ground realities, was pretty ignorant of the societal perceptions of gender groups, was wondering if people really hated foreigners, confused about the fighting that seemed to dominate any news in the Middle East.
I mean, I've lived in Malaysia for almost a year and still don't know much about Islam. I do live in a bubble in Malaysia since I have other AIESEC trainees around for support which I appreciate but I wished I had made an effort to reach out to the locals. It shouldn't have been difficult especially since I look like the people in Malaysia!
Anyway, I digress...point is, just asking myself why I want to do this has been a powerful journey of self discovery for me. I'm still nervous because it does get harder to make real friends if you're on the move all the time. And I still don't know what it'll really be like as a woman living in the Mid East. Are Asians common there and how are they perceived? So many questions running through my head.
But as they say "if you're not living on the edge, you're taking too much space".
So there...better to try than to live and regret my inaction.
